Roaming Demons
You may have noticed that I completed "Confronting My Demons" Parts 1 through 3 of 6. I have been wanting to continue this series because it is important for me to formally document this stage of my life. The several years I have been documenting have drastically changed who I was in an extreme short period of time. Parts of my old me will always be there, but a lot of other parts died at that time. I yearn to have the positive parts back that died long ago... the energy, creativity and thoughtfulness that was stifled and smashed.
In order to do this correctly, I have been dragging up a ton of old sad depressing angry feelings that I have put away a long time ago. I think a lot of people have put those feelings away too. Though I would love to continue this series because it finally puts some bloody madness to final rest, I can't help but stop myself from continuing do to the fact that Parts 4 and 5 include descriptions and stories of people I have since repaired relations with. I also know for a fact that some of these people may have been reading my blog... I have given them the link, no reason why they shouldn't.
You see, its been easy so far. I have severed some key relationships that I discussed in Parts 1 through 3. I also doubt they even know what a "blog" is .... or will ever try to have a relationship with myself ever again. In some cases its been over 14 years since the supposed "relationship" has been severed. Its been extremely easy to tell my story... my raw truth.
That's the point of the series.... talk about the raw truth. What was seen in my vision... my perspective (hence the eye pics). I feel that I would be doing myself and you a disservice by warping my own raw truth in order to protect my current situations. But I would like to complete this series.
Please tell me what you think.... this has been rolling around in my head for months.
A letter recently put this to the forefront of my mind again. The Captain of the boat that CV79 and I are getting married on have confirmed that two individuals may be joining us that have been described in Parts 1 through 3. The evil side... my id has been teasing me to send them the link to this page. Outrage and denial will be their first response... kinda like when I brought up their "no blacks" rule after their wedding which included a black photographer. At the same time... why waste the binary code and electricity on people I have ignored and shunned for 14 years?
In order to do this correctly, I have been dragging up a ton of old sad depressing angry feelings that I have put away a long time ago. I think a lot of people have put those feelings away too. Though I would love to continue this series because it finally puts some bloody madness to final rest, I can't help but stop myself from continuing do to the fact that Parts 4 and 5 include descriptions and stories of people I have since repaired relations with. I also know for a fact that some of these people may have been reading my blog... I have given them the link, no reason why they shouldn't.
You see, its been easy so far. I have severed some key relationships that I discussed in Parts 1 through 3. I also doubt they even know what a "blog" is .... or will ever try to have a relationship with myself ever again. In some cases its been over 14 years since the supposed "relationship" has been severed. Its been extremely easy to tell my story... my raw truth.
That's the point of the series.... talk about the raw truth. What was seen in my vision... my perspective (hence the eye pics). I feel that I would be doing myself and you a disservice by warping my own raw truth in order to protect my current situations. But I would like to complete this series.
Please tell me what you think.... this has been rolling around in my head for months.
A letter recently put this to the forefront of my mind again. The Captain of the boat that CV79 and I are getting married on have confirmed that two individuals may be joining us that have been described in Parts 1 through 3. The evil side... my id has been teasing me to send them the link to this page. Outrage and denial will be their first response... kinda like when I brought up their "no blacks" rule after their wedding which included a black photographer. At the same time... why waste the binary code and electricity on people I have ignored and shunned for 14 years?
posted by Benners at 2:00 PM
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